After plenty of weekend beer I've wrestled my second scene to a place where I am quite happy with it. Below are a few frames rendered, the whole scene needs to be rendered which could take a long while. I've simplified both the textures and lighting from the first attempts to help it render quicker. It is now rendering in the standard Maya Software renderer rather than Mental Ray.
I think this makes it easier to see and understand, but the lighting is not as dramatic.